We just celebrated Ella's 2nd birthday in December, which means we've been living a life full of new richness and meaning for just over 2 years. Along the way, I feel like God has taught us some important life lesssons. Today is a good day to reflect on some of the lessons we've learned (or stumbled over, or barely crawled our way through...).
Control is overrated.
Sometimes being in control is a good thing. Like when you're driving on icy roads in the middle of winter. Sometimes being in control is actually an illusion we maintain in an effort to keep order in our minds. There are things in life that are out of my control, out of your control. When this happens in my own life, I tend to get concerned (or freaked out, whichever term you prefer...). Having a daughter who from the start has challenged my illusion of control and my desire to plan every detail to the tee has taught me to let go. Let go of the little things, like whether or not that towel is folded just right because my son did it all by himself, or the fact that my daughter may not do all the things exactly the way I thought she would in my vision of her before she was born. Yup, control is not all it's cracked up to be. Let go.
It's always a good time for a hug.
There's something about getting hugged at every turn, whether you see it coming or not. Ella has this special way of just hugging me around my neck with the sweetest squeeze. And since we say "oooh-aaah" when we hug her, she almost always does her own version of this when she gives hugs, which translates basically into, "uuuuhhh" when she gives the squeeze. She also seems to have a knack for giving people hugs at just the right time. I don't always see it coming, but Ella has a special radar for "hug need". At certain times, she will give a hug unrequested, as if she just "knew" that this person could use a good squeeze. She has never once been refused. I'd say those are pretty good stats. Take time for hugs-you can never have too many!
You never know someone's full story-don't judge.
How many times have I looked at someone without even knowing their name and thought things...not always nice things? Things about the way they are dressed, the way they talk, or the way they are parenting their children at that moment. Having been on the other side of this judgemental stare several times myself in the last couple of years, I have learned to restrain myself. I specifically remember one time while using my WIC check, the cashier just had some serious disdain for me, as if I was living off the government without making an ounce of effort to provide for my family in any way. I wanted to scream out in rage, "Hey, listen lady, the only reason I'm getting these checks is because my daughter is in Early Intervention, and yes, my husband and I are both working hard for our family, thank you very much." I held my tongue, but barely. Now, when I see someone whose life story I might have a tendency to make certain in my mind without even knowing them, I take a moment, pause, and remind myself that I don't know that person, and choose to think the best of that person. I don't know their life story, just like they don't know mine.
Stop and smell the roses. Seriously.
I think that I am in good company when I say that this life can leave me frazzled and worn out from the moment I even open my eyes in the morning. The frantic pace at which life comes at me sometimes causes me to just stand there, dizzy from the whirlwind. There, but for the grace of God, I would be EVERY DAY. Through Ella, God has taught our family to slow down. Whether because of her extra chromosome or just her personality, Ella enjoys every second of this life. She is a reminder that faster is not always better, and being first does not always mean you will have enjoyed the ride. Sure, she is slower at meeting some milestones. Sure, she has to work harder to communicate than her peers. But, you know what else is sure? She has a sparkle in her eye, the one that says, "I've worked so hard for this, and it's finally here!" Or the other one that says, "Catch me if you can!" Ella grabs life by the horns and takes full advantage of each moment. Stop. This moment is as it is. Enjoy the beauty in this second, don't rush too quickly to the next.
While there are certainly many more things our precious Ella and other people in this world of Down Syndrome (those with Down Syndrome and those who who love them) have taught us, these are some of the biggies. May you be able to glean something from these lesson as well. HAPPY WORLD DOWN SYNDROME DAY!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment